Should never affect your day, your plans or your hopes for your future.
The inexorable weight of expectation is defeating. It crushes your very ability to see the potential of your spirit and the potentiality of your journey. When we live in the dis-ease of “people pleasing,” what we are really telling ourselves is that our needs don’t really matter and that there isn’t anything we wouldn’t do for the approval of others. Essentially, we’re sacrificing the very energy that ought to be carrying spirit to raise to its highest level. Many of you are teachers in this life and haven’t yet come to know this; many of you struggle because the very first question you ask yourself is “what will other people think if I do this….?” Can you imagine what your life could look like if the very first question you asked yourself looked something like this: “how may I serve?”
There is an incredulous weight being carried by the vast majority of you who live by the expectations of others. For many of you, living within social circles which are predicated upon the pleasing of others, it will be very difficult to escape that weight. However, ask yourself how many of those people bring you soup when you are sick? How many of those people helped you heal your broken heart? How many of them pay your rent/mortgage when you are short of money? And if you have people doing that for you, ask yourself what is their motive for doing so. When people give out of expectation of receipt, they deceive themselves and they deceive the receiver of that gift. If people were truly giving and generous, they would expect nothing, because ” In the giving, there is something gained.” (this is not to advocate the continued taking advantage of others, but if you have people in your life who give you things because they are expecting other things in return, then you have some serious questions to ask of yourself.)
Many of you struggle with the thought that putting yourself first is selfish. Unfortunately we have been conditioned by societal expectations to understand that any act of putting oneself first is incredibly selfish. Nothing could be further from the truth. The truth of this magnificent universe is this: “what you focus on expands.” If you are focused on pleasing others, the universe will make that option available to you and stretch you on sacrificing yourself to the point of exhaustion. If you are determined to struggle because you were taught that life equals sacrifice, then the universe will continue to let you struggle. But, even if for just ten seconds everyday, you were able to focus all your energy on who you are and who you were meant to be, you will, overtime, come to realise that life is full of unanticipated, unbelievable and underestimated surprises. The first of which will be that giving to yourself of your own energy and your own love is self-building, self-healing, self-caring and self-motivating.
To give the gift of self-love builds on your respect for yourself, your spirit and your ability to give to others. “…for in the giving, there is something gained.” Teach yourself what it feels like to show yourself respect by feeding yourself when you are hungry, by resting when you are tired, by putting your feet up when they hurt and by taking a walk because your body needs that too. Do something nice for yourself every day and don’t worry about having to give yourself grandiose gifts; even the very act of making your favourite sandwich is a gift of service to yourself.
May your journey be one that leads to a road of fulfillment.